A Conversation With The Wife About Christmas (Kind Of)
We're watching a Fox & Friends Christmas special on this Christmas Eve evening, and they are about to play charades (yes, this passes for high entertainment in our household)
So Steve Doucy shows the guy what he has to get his group to say and the fellow says, "OK, five words" as the screen caption says "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy."
Me: And the guy says FIVE words!?
Wife: Is that from Cracker Nuts?"
Me: Y... huh?"
Wife: The Nutcracker? Sorry, it just came out...
Me: (Laughing uncontrollably as I nonchalantly reach for the keyboard):
(long pause)
Wife: Are you writing about what I said?
Me (Shaking head in the affirmative):
Wife: On Christmas?
Me: Mmm-Hmm.
Wife: Damnit...
Now it occurred to me that you didn't catch the conversation in which I explained my wife's use of Damnit, so here's my Christmas gift to you...
A Conversation With The Wife About Kings And Countries
(I think to fully appreciate this, you need to realize how my wife says "Damn it." It's not the way you do all day, everyday, as an exclamation - "DAMN IT!" No, hers is soft, almost apologetic - "Daaamn iiiit."
So the Final Jeopardy subject was: Country Names (not to be confused with Country Roads)
And the questions was:
"Some people in this Asian country named for a European king now want to call it by an indigenous name, Maharlika"
Me: Let's see, it's gotta be... down... there...
Wife: Malaysia.
Me: There's a European king named Malaysia?
Wife: I don't know.
(Pause as the music plays)
Me: The Philippines
Wife: No.
(Time expires)
(Only the Champion gets it right)
(And the answer is...)
(The Philippines!)
Wife: Damn it.
Now, would you care to guess where my wife is from?
Wife: How did you know that?
Me: King Philip... ?
Wife:
Me: Of Spain...?
Wife: Damn it
Me: How come you didn't know?
Wife: I probably did...
Me: Oh yeah, that "no" you gave me meant it was right on the tip of your tongue?
Wife: They probably taught us that in grade school
Me: And you forgot it?
Wife: Damn it.
Me:
Wife: I'm glad they didn't change it to Maharlika...
Me: They're THINKING ABOUT IT!
Wife: Damn it.
Me: That would make you a Maharlikan?
Wife:
