John Edwards - Democrat

Is there anyone who's more representative of the Democrat Party than John Edwards? And is there anyone who's behavior is more emblematic of Democrats? So today he came right out and admitted that he'd had the affair about which rumors have been swirling, and he said so now... because he got caught with his pants down. No, not literally, but it was that close.

He says the baby which inconveniently appeared around nine months later is not his. We won't take him at his word, but only because he'd given his word that he hadn't had an affair in the first place. Otherwise, we would. But if the baby wasn't his, why was he recently caught visiting the mother? Because he certainly couldn't still be having sex with that moman?"

Mr. Haircut further claims that he started the affair when his wife's cancer was in remission, and that Elizabeth is aware of it. Was it a reward for his attentiveness when she first became ill... "Oh Johnny, you need a break now, why not have that affair you always wanted?"

Johno says this all happened in 2006. Let's see, what else was he doing then... preparing to run for President?" Do you think he got any tips from Bill Clinton?

And perhaps even more important, remember all the attention Republicans got from the media in recent years for far less grievous offenses? I bet the media is now going to hound Edwards like you couldn't believe... although that would also hurt Elizabeth, so maybe they'll try to restrain themselves this once?!?