Pleading For The Polar Bear

I know that most scientists don't believe in "global warming," but the ones who do are so stupid that it's starting to give science a bad name.

There's an ad running right now that not only lays out the case for "global warming," it reflects the minds of "scientists" who lobby on behalf of it, and the first thing that came to mind when I saw the ad is, no wonder they want to say this is a settled issue...

Because it's anything but.

In the ad, a distraught Sharon Lawrence (whom I used to like) pleads with us to save the Polar Bear. From what? Lawrence claims they're endangered and that they are having trouble getting food because of a lack of arctic ice. It's unclear how that works in practice, but the bigger problem is that there's no lack of arctic ice. Reportedly there's a lot more there now than there has been in recent summers, and that alone should have shut up Ms. Lawrence. And as far as preserving animals, isn't that why God created zoos... and cameras?

More importantly, it should have stood the argument for warming on its head, because a lessening of arctic ice was the only thing anyone could point to as a manifestation of his claim that the planet was in danger of overheating.

And the problem with that claim itself is that a lack of ice doesn't mean the planet is warming, only that the arctic could be, and even then, it assumes that warming is bad, when in fact warming is wonderful, and I can prove it.

Recently, some nut claimed that a four degree rise would threaten humans with extinction. Preposterous. I've lived through a 122 degree day in Phoenix, and I'm still here. So the entire world would have to warm an awful lot to be uninhabitable. Maybe humans couldn't live in Phoenix then, but Edmonton would be lovely - the new Phoenix, in fact. Furthermore, it wouldn't be long before people figured out how to re-inhabit the Valley of the Sun , although they probably would choose not to return to Tuscon, and boating down a boiling Colorado would be like a floating sauna and would capture big tourism bucks.

But the best part is that a lot of critters might become extinct and there's nothing anyone could do about it.

last week, right here on this blog, Mr. Mensa stated flatly that anyone who doesn't believe in "global warming" is a fool, or words to that effect. When given the chance to make his case and to provide one bit of evidence that was irrefutable, he practiced what he preached and evaporated.

That's because it's SETTLED! Sci-guys don't need no stinkin' facts... which is good, because they don't have any.

Not one.

And even if they did, they'd have to prove or at least demonstrate that warming was man-made... that it was bad... and that there's something we could do about it that didn't have the potential to do more damage. That's a supersized order, and unlike in fast food, in science, it's unfillable.

But now I said I'd prove that global warming was nothing to be concerned about. In fact, it's something we can look forward to. Subconsciously, people already are, and its simple to see. What's the fastest growing city in America?

That's right, PHOENIX! And Las Vegas is right up there too, as are other desert areas. So even under the worst case scientist/idiot scenario, people will be delighted, not dying of dehydration as they hope. Sure we can't garden much in summer, so we garden in the other eight months of the year... and they can't do that in Cleveland... at least not until the great promises offered by global warming materialize.

So the great irony is that we should pray that the few so-called scientists who believe warming is nigh are right. Then we should acknowledge them, thank them, and shoot them... before they have a chance to spoil the paradise that Earth will become....