Shocking Evidence Of Global Warming Cooling

Forget the fact that Mt. Shasta's glaciers are growing as a result of "global warming" (I swear I'm not kidding, the idiots say it's because warmer air is causing more snow)...

It was 73 here this morning!

I know that means nothing to you, but it's gotta be the lowest July temperature in Phoenix since I moved here by accident (long story) thirty years ago.

Low seventies temps in July are probably not unusual in Sub-Phoenix, aka Tucson, but it's unheard of here, and it comes on the heels of the coolest Spring since I've been here as well.

And there's an even bigger deal if the weather report turns out to be right - it'll be below a hundred for four straight days... that's in a row!

Scientists had previously thought this to be impossible, except the "global warming" "scientists," maybe.

Why it's been so cool here that we're still harvesting tomatoes. For you ignorant louts who know nothing about gardening, tomato plants stop producing at 95 (32 Canadian), and they start dying outright when the temps consistently get over a hundred or if they hear Obama speaking, whichever comes first.

In fact, we've had so many tomatoes this year that as I told the wife, it's a crime we can't make ethanol out of them.

But at least there's plenty to throw at my neighbor's house if he doesn't prune his damn tree soon.

Meanwhile, it rained last night - about an inch and a half, which is roughly 500 times our normal yearly rainfall, and since it's still cloudy and not likely to get hot again for days, we won't need the sprinklers for a week - in the dead of summer!

Now I see why they want to stop calling it "global warming" and start calling it "climate change." Because the climate is always changing, but 73 in Phoenix in the Summertime or "Summer time" for the functionally illiterate, has got to portend even bigger changes - like maybe the Diamondbacks will fire Melvin!?!

Or even better, a glacier will fall on his head.