2 posts tagged “hot”

This week, it's apparently the History Channel's turn to scare you to death - or into submission, as the case may be with a two whole hour "documentary" entitled, Global Warning.

Clever, no?

And the first question I had after seeing it (yes, you read that right, I saw it), was, have documentary standards always been this low and I never noticed before?

This is such a fantastic piece of propaganda, that it must make AL Gore jealous. Although I don't really know how it compares to Gore's scare-mongering, since I didn't and won't be seeing his movie because... well...  he's in it.

But now at least I get what the claims of the warmalarmists are - they really do fear a runaway chain reaction that could warm the planet by twenty (count 'em) degrees in two decades which, coincidentally, corresponds roughly to the remainder of Gore's lifespan.

At least that's the fear of some of the "consensi" (the twenty degree rise, not that Al Gore might live another twenty years). Still, the program ends with one of their number telling us that there's still time, and many of the claims in the body of the documentary are contradictory or dependent on the "consensus" being right, not to mention that events that might mitigate actual warming were virtually ignored, even after being touched upon.

Last week, the BBC ran a commentary by some science nut who basically spelled out how it was gonna be, and he knows, because he's a scientist and he's been there - in virtual reality, so it matters little that he can't effectively communicate his case much less prove it, our job, as the reader, is to accept what he's saying and get a Flintstones car..

The thing that impressed me most about the idiot's commentary though was the new science it represents - fact free! That's right, you don't need to know no stinkin' facts, just receive and believe... and don't conceive, I guess.

So here's the deal, as I understand it from the History Channel program -  and I understand it better now than any of the warmalarmists here, I bet - it's that man is causing the CO2 level to rise... make that soar, at least in percentage terms, and that such a rise will cause the planet to warm... pick some numbers like 3-7 degrees. And at that point, the oceans will warm enough to release the frozen methane which is 26 times more dangerous than CO2.

That's it! I did it!

Then the Earth will get hotter than ever, and.then.. .OK, the "and then" part wasn't clear, but it will be catastrophic. I mean, we'll survive, but by "we," I don't mean you or me, I mean the rich and privileged, apparently. And since 95 percent of species were wiped out in the last heatwave thousands of years ago, including the... I can't remember the term, but I'll call them uber-predators which conveys the same idea, I think.

These uber-predators, as distinguished from dinosaurs, all died out because their food supplies died out, and all I can say is, "Thank God," since trust me, we don't need those things running around today. I may not know what they're called, but they was big and scary!

And it's safe to say that the coming heatwave will be bigger and better, so you know where that leads - no bugs!

But seriously, while they didn't say it, it was strongly implied that the current temperature is, in fact, perfect, so another argument of mine was shot down.

The only problem is that while the documentary was short on facts, it was not short on images, but one example, the Kilimanjaro ice melt, has if I'm not mistaken, been removed from the laundry list of events caused by global warming, or it's at least in dispute. As would many of the other events and images be, I believe, if contradictory points of view had been given any consideration whatsoever.

But of course, that matter is settled, so there is no bona fide disagreement, and the claim is that it's cheaper and easier to address the unknown now that it will be to deal with runaway warming... in two short decades... though we still have time.

And they may have a point, but they're going about it the wrong way, I think. See, take the Arctic... please. Snow leads to ice, and white is better than blue or brown, but we're getting less of the former and more of the latter two in the arctic, so why won't what works for ski resorts work way further north?

I say we ring the Circle with snow making machines. If celebrities can have snow in summer in LA for their daughters' birthday parties, it ought to work further north - in winter. That seems a heck of a lot cheaper and easier than trying to get the world to buy more expensive lightbulbs?!?

But I recommend this documentary despite its flaws, and  I give it three flakes... of the snow variety.  I can't recall a disaster movie produced by the Sci-Fi channel that's as slickly produced.

Which leads me to suggest that the History Channels should change it's name to the Cli-Fi channel!?!

Clearly, the biggest source CO2 being spewed into the Earth's atmosphere is that generated by liberal gasbags wailing about humans spewing CO2 into the Earth's atmosphere.

In other words, if they'd shut up, the problem would go away, and we could get back to the time when we reveled in those rare unusually warm days in the dead of winter instead of doing as Meredith Viera said she did on her 70-degrees-in-January walk though Central Park - worry that we're all gonna die (spoiler - we are)

Still, I heart heart global warming, it's proof that the left believes in religion too.

Some months ago, there was a headline that said the past year was the warmest in 1200 years. The next day, the headline read, "1400 years" (they must have delved further into their statistics and found that stone thermometers can be difficult to read).

My reaction was, Yeah, so? The problem is that last year would have had to have been the warmest year EVER, preceded and/or followed by other warmer than average years until someone can say definitively," this is the warmest century ever." And then the warmest millenium...Then we can set about determining what caused it and trying to figure out if there's anything we can do about it.

But the killer is that we only hear all pain, no gain, all the time. Recently, there was a news item about how global warming would devastate Europe, never mind that Europe has it coming, and that during the last warm period those 1400 years ago, they were growing wine in England.

OK, they weren't growing wine, they were growing grapes, but you get the idea.

The article's main point was that warming would ruin tourism in southern Europe because people wouldn't have to go as far south to enjoy balmy beaches. There was also the concern that warm water fish were being spotted further north, as in, "Is that a swordfish in your swimming trunks, or are you just happy to see me?"

Another article stated that Alaska would become like England is now, though without the accent, I presume, and after the Spinal Tap fiasco, Stonehenge replicas are probably out of the question as well.

The writer did allow, Fagus bless him, that there would be better farming and thus more food further north, but that's IT! And even that would be offset by more disease. Do you think that when the shamrock is displaced by citrus flowers in Dublin, that Irish eyes will be crying or smiling?

Of course the point is, there's never talk about how great a warmer Earth would be, and there's the assumption that the way on... your date here...  is the way it should always be. It's as if the universe is some precise physical system created by somebody in a lab or something, and not by a perfect and all-powerful God.

In the real world, things are always in flux, even in a dome. In case you haven't heard, the one outside Tucson was an utter failure. Which begs the question: If man can't control the climate in a bubble, can Al Gore control the whole Earth?

I mean, we can't even control Al Gore, and he can't control his own bubbles.

Last year in Phoenix was one of the warmest winters I've seen, and it was heaven - low heating bills and green peppers in January. Does it get any better? But this year is absolutely the coldest ever in all my time here, and not only are there no peppers, there are no pepper plants! As in the cold has made them all look like sick puppies.

And my eggplant, forget about it. They look like compost, so now I have to plant new, and that means no eggplant until late April. If that doesn't mean much to you, you have no heart, even of the artichoke variety.

So if global warming exists, and that's more iffy than the weather in Cleveland, the slogan should be: Global Warming - Get Used To It!

Today, the she-beast Senator, Barbara Boxer (0-Ca) wanted to compare global warming dissenters to something, so she reminded willing-fool reporters that there were probably a few dissenters back around the same time that the climate was warmer than it is today who had resisted the idea that the Earth was round.

Barbox thought she was so clever.

Somebody needed to inform the silly Senator that just a little further back than that, there were probably a few dissenters to the idea that the Earth was - flat.