21 posts tagged “muslim”

So an American woman in an Islamic getup walks into a Starbucks somewhere in Saudi Arabia...

And the waiter asks, "Would you like bruises and a strip search with that latte?"

OK, it wasn't a waiter is was a Saudi pig... er... policeman, and the woman had committed a "terrible sin." What was the sin, you ask? No, it wasn't that she paid five bucks for a cup of coffee - she sat with a man she was neither related nor married to. Christ, you know it ain't easy!

Apparently, in Saudi Arabia they don't have "smoking and "non-smoking" sections, they have "related" and "mingle at your own risk" sections.

Interestingly, there was no word on the treatment the man who led her astray received or whether the woman got to finish her latte, but she's back in America and refusing to give her name out of concern for her friends and associates still in the Magic Kingdom. Sharia, baby! It's not just for dinner anymore.

Meanwhile, half a Middle East away, a 22-year-old guy in Iran has been sentenced to death. His crime was having a fourth drink.

More accurately, he was given the death penalty because of three previous convictions for alcohol consumption. Now that's what I call a temperance movement!

And a few weeks ago, three other Iranians had their right hands and left feet "recycled" because they were convicted of theft. It wasn't exactly what the victims were hoping for in the way of restitution, but they felt at least they'd have some conversation pieces.

There's a long-ago song by the Box Tops that goes something like this, and as always, feel free to sing along...

Sweet cream ladies forward march;

Puritans ignore them 

Sweet cream ladies do their part;

Sweet cream men adore them

Exactly what the "Puritans" don't intend to have happen any longer... at least not in supermarkets... in Malaysia

That's right, ladies, the supermarket checkout lanes just got safer for you - in one Islamic State, Denial, where the express lines will now be by gender.

Actually, it's the State is Kelantan, which is the same name as an anti-seizure medication I believe, and I know after this they're gonna be flooded with requests for permanent visas from women everywhere:

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysia's only state run by the Islamic opposition party will get stricter about enforcing separate lines for men and women at supermarkets, an official said Tuesday.

Thank Allah.. Finally!

Supermarkets will be fined if they allow men and women in line together. I can hear it now, "Gender check on register four."

But while men may not be happy, women must be relieved. They can finally buy those personal products without fear of embarrassment... although men still can't.

Here's my favorite part of the AP story:

"Chief Minister Nik Aziz Nik Mat has called for stricter enforcement "to safeguard the ladies" from being harassed and to avoid close proximity between opposite sexes while lining up to buy groceries..."

Did you catch that? The guy's name is Nik Aziz Nik Mat. Nik Mat? as in paddywhack give a dog a bone?

No wonder the law hasn't been enforced, who could take someone with a name like that seriously? But now it's no more Mr. Nice Guy... It's Mr. Nik Mat, to you.

And as silly as this story might be to some of us, apparently the Associated Press thinks it's not so much -.there's not a hint of opinion, no not-so-subtle afterthoughts, it's bias free - just the facts, ma'am.

The same organization whose reporter couldn't resist taking jabs at Bush and Christians and Jews when Bush was in Israel... the same organization that painted our returning servicemen as basket cases in a recent story... that organization now reports this with a totally straight face.

There's no word on whether men and women will eventually have separate but equal grocery aisles or if the cashiers need to be the same sex as the customers, but can shopping on alternate days be far behind? And then, how about alternate universes?

Guess What I Named My Toilet?

The Top Ten Results If America Became An Islamic State

• National Anthem changed to that noise Islamic women make with their tongues when they celebrate
• Supreme Court upholds separation of church and state, orders lawyers who brought separation of mosque and state case be executed
• All space rockets and ships must face Mecca at all times
• No vulgarity on TV (unless you consider stonings to be vulgar?)
• Lower corn prices because - no pigs!
• No more technology races, instead, camel races!
• Global warming is Allah punishing infidels. Watch the world cool now that we control America 
• We issue a formal apology to Saddam Hussein
• Liberals discover Muslim word for them doesn't exist, and neither will they
• We bomb Iran's nuclear weapons facilities immediately because we're Sunni!
• For image reasons, we urge Taliban to change their name to "TaliCAN!"
• We join OPEC, but we're considered an "outlier"
• We blow up Mount Rushmore
• Snail mail's out, camel mail's in! They're faster, carry more letters and don't shrivel in the sun
• Society becomes gay free - in more ways than one

And the number one result of an American Islamic State:

• The Beheading Channel!

And I do mean "Dateline!"

Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat... no, I didn't make that up, even if it is suspiciously similar to the Monty Python election night sketch. He's "the spiritual leader of the opposition Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party" according to a recent news story, which then makes him the Harry Reid of Malaysia.

Anyway, he says that Muslim men are suffering sleepless nights and cannot pray properly because their thoughts are distracted by a growing number of women who wear sexy clothes in public. To which I say, welcome to the 21st century, Nik Mat.

He's calling it "emotional abuse," and he says that it is seldom discussed. Well, maybe not in public, but has he ever sat in on a Malaysian Muslims' poker party?.

"Our prayers become unfocused and our sleep is often disturbed," Nickie says. Uh-huh, talk about out of touch. The reality is, their prayers have been answered, at least in part, and the reason for the disturbed sleep, is they're anxious to have the rest answered, if you get my drift.

The article says this guy has made comments in the past that women should stop wearing lipstick and perfume to lower the risk of being raped. I guess that's sorta like the push to cut CO2 emissions to lower the risk of being warmed, which, by the way, it seems Abdul could really do his part just by sticking a sock in it.

But now women's groups aren't sitting still for this. They say his comments actually encourage rapes because "it puts the onus on women." Is it just me, or is that quote so suggestive that it'll just make the men's onus much bigger?

The story goes on to say, "Nik Abdul Aziz's fundamentalist party has about 800,000 members (probably a poor choice of words)," and that he is also the "chief minister" of northeastern Kelantan, which begs the question: are all the other ministers Indians then? Also Kelantan, according to sources who wish to remain anonymous, derives its name from the tendency of Muslims to bind with metals in that area.

The party's Web site published an illustration Wednesday of how women should dress - long, flowing headscarves covering hair and chest, which are, presumably, two completely different areas... and "baggy and loose" long-sleeved, floor-length dresses, in other words, burka-like, but without Klan hood.

In Kelantan, the only one of Malaysia's 13 states not ruled by the moderate National Front governing coalition, the Islamic party has fined Muslim women for not wearing headscarves in workplaces and implemented separate check-out lines for men and women in supermarkets... so men won't leer at women's melons.

We're told that most Malay Muslim women wear a modest form of Islamic clothing, but that younger women in cities sometimes wear body-hugging dresses or tight T-shirts and jeans. This seems totally subjective to me, and I know you'll join me in calling on the writer of the article to publish pictures so that we can judge for ourselves.. along with names and phone numbers where possible...

Today I want to say a few things about the world's three great religions - Christianity, Warmalarmism, and Muslamism which I mention in that order because while I don't respect the tenets of any of them, Christians only try to advance their beliefs by being annoying, while Warmalarmists want to tax and control people, and Muslamists will just kill you if you don't like what they're selling.

Also, compared to the other two, Christianity is rarely in the news, and I'm sure you agree that when it comes to religion, no news is good news?!?

Plus, when there is news, Christians are usually only a little wacky, WAs are insane, and Mussies are, more often than not, downright scary (for lack of a scarier term).

Although Pope Benedict, better known as "Eggs," did recently say that combating warming was a "moral imperative," which, of course, raises the question, Don't you have other matters of faith to deal with, pops? Like... the news of six nuns who have been excommunicated (thrown out, not separated from their heads) from the Catholic Church because they refused to give up their membership in a Canadian group - The Community of the Lady of All Nations, aka, the Army of Mary, whose founder claims to be possessed by the Virgin Mary herself.

And who can blame the nuns, since the Catholic doctrine behind all the Church's teachings is: "Better safe than sorry?"

The nuns aren't Canadian though. In fact, nuns are to Canada about like gays are to Iran. No, our ex-nuns are from the Good Shepherd Monastery of Our Lady of Charity and Refuge in... Hot Springs, Ark. - Ark the herald angels sang, eh?

And get this, the six aren't moving out of their convent since they won it, which makes one wonder what will be the Church's equivalent of the Waco siege?

82-year-old ex-nun, Sister Mary Theresa Dionne, one of the nuns excommunicated, said:
 
"We are at peace and we know that for us we are doing the right thing. We pray that the church will open their (sic) eyes before it is too late."

Remember, better safe than sorry.

A spokesman for the Army of Mary, Father Eric Roy, said Mary impersonator Marie Paule Giguere has not claimed to be the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary. He said the 86-year-old Quebec woman "receives graces" and that "The Virgin Mary took possession of her soul. I would rather say it that way."

Turning to the Warmalarmists, a bunch of Canadian scientists (if that's not a contradiction in terms) took a trip up north (and I'm talkin' damn north, as compared to what Americans think of as "north") and were stunned... STUNNED, by the amount of melting they saw. No mention was made of whether the trip was paid for out of the hundred million or so dollars the Canadian government gave the group or whether it's a separate chargeable expense.

And Quebec has imposed the first "carbon tax," to, as the news dispatch put it, "fund the province's plans to reduce emissions."

Why I'll bet, if you're a Warmalarmist, you happier than a polar bear in the Arctic used to be before all the melting, am I right?

Well, there's another article which you most likely missed because it didn't make Reuters or the AP until today. It's about sugar cane cutters (SCCs) in Brazil. That report talks about the backbreaking work, low pay, and the large uptick in serious cane related diseases the Brazilian laborers have to contend with.

But if ethanol saves the life of one polar bear, it's all worth it, and those Canadian scientists have asked the bears to document any perceived improvements in their living conditions that result from the Quebec tax. Quebecers will no doubt do the same, and my bet is that the bears respond first.

And finally, we turn to news from the Wonderful World of Islam. Manny and the Mullahs over in Iran have labeled the CIA a "terrorist organization," which proves how little they know about America or they would have given that label to the IRS.

Meanwhile, a New York Congressman says there are too many mosques in America which may be an all-time understatement since one mosque could easily be considered too many, and two an epidemic.

Which reminds me, a new TV series premiered last night which features a Muslim exchange student from Pakistan, and while the American family expressed initial consternation, it's amazing how funny and down-to-Earth regular Muslims are. No doubt future episodes will also show how much wiser he is than the average American.

Finally, there's the story of the Malaysian Muslim astronaut which is so amazing that it demands it's own space, ha ha... but trust me, this one is a blast.

Reuters is carrying a review of CNN's God's Warriors hosted by the always biased Christiane Amanpour, a sort of thinner, even less funny, female Michael Moore in which she tries to show, as one idiotic Australian did here, that all religions have their fanatics, and so they are all roughly equivalent.

The interesting part of that is that somewhere in the equating, Muslims are always painted as misunderstood and it's the Christians and Jews who are the real evil.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

The piece is by Barry Garron of the Hollywood Reporter who does a terrific job out pointing out the documentary's shortcomings in a succinct and very understandable few paragraphs. What really grabbed my attention though was that at the end, you can rate what you just read. On a five-star scale, the review was rated one star (by the one person who had cared to rate it). I quickly brought the average to three stars, but I got to thinking about the sort of person who would give it only one star - that same Australian maybe?

Or a Muslim?

Because one doesn't have to see the documentary to realize that there's no doubting the accuracy of the review's central points - that Christians and Jews prefer ballots, have far less fanatics and they have far less supporters, and that governments hold those Christians and Jews in check when it comes to imposing their ideology on the general populace, whereas even in the US, a quarter of Muslims say that suicide bombing of civilians is OK in some circumstances.

And so the person who accorded the review that one lonely star was likely expressing his dislike of Mr. Garron's assessment of the differences between the religions - something Amanpour largely failed to do, Garron says, and I have no doubt he's right.

In other words, "One-star Guy" probably agrees that it's OK to kill the Garrons of the world who are doing so much damage to the Religion of Peace.

Anyway, if you read the review, don't forget to vote.

I almost lost my mind while watching O'Reilly yesterday, but don't worry, that happens every time I watch him. The reason for this particular episode had to do with the Pace University student who has been charged with a "hate crime" for mistreating the Quran. Apparently no one told the authorities this is America.

But as horrendous as that is, O'Reilly agreed with the charge!

He said that the student did it purposely and right in front of Muslims he was angry at.

Yeah... so?

If you don't watch "The Factor" much, perhaps this one little story will help you understand why I hate O'Reilly so much that I'd joyfully break a Factor mug right in front of him - or maybe right on his own mug!?!

But this is just a preface to something bigger - a column by one of the smartest guys on the planet who argues essentially what I've been saying - that contrary treading lightly around Muslims, we have a duty to insult them. You've gotta read the column here.

Now I'm not saying you all should start gratuitously insulting Aput, but think about it, will ya?

Actually, the point is not to offend decent people which Aput appears to be, it's to stop according Muslims extraordinary deference - or any, really. You probably don't realize it, but they really don't deserve it. I mean, respect the person, not the silliness.

Now I know you might wonder, how can you respect the person, but not his beliefs? Why are you asking me, that's his problem. I mean, you do it with liberals, right?

Just kidding, I know you don't respect them as people either. No problem, we know they're just replicas.

Anyway, Hitchens writes a brilliant piece in which he outlines the preposterous basis of Islam (Don't worry, Mussies, he feels all religions are more or less equally preposterous, as do I), but he notes that Islam is rather unique in the level of intimidation its followers employ, and that must be confronted at every opportunity, even to the point of manufacturing opportunities if necessary

So, have you insulted a Muslim today?

Because I feel pretty sure that I have...

Malaysia - The government has warned it could use tough anti-terrorism laws against bloggers who insult Islam or the country's king.

A suspect may be detained indefinitely, without being charged or put on trial.

"But officials insist the law is not intended to strangle internet freedom," the article says. 

Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak told The Straits Times,  "Some people feel that they have crossed the line, in making racist remarks."

Huh?

Jonathan Kent  of the BBC has a slightly different perspective; he says the government appears increasingly concerned about the growing online criticism of its record.

Meanwhile, "Raja Petra Kamarudin, the editor of one of Malaysia's most popular political websites, Malaysia Today, turned himself in to... answer allegations that he had mocked Islam and threatened racial harmony."

"I promise I'm going to give them a hell of a tough time," he said.

Oh Joy!?!

The BBC says the government seems keen to send a signal to its online critics that it will only tolerate so much...

And this, remember is "moderate Islam"....

Everyday, I'm bombarded with stupidity, and I just can't address it all as completely as it so richly deserves. Some recent examples: