2 posts tagged “science”

First, let me say that I live in a border state, and somehow, I just can't picture appearing before my local magistrate and tearfully pleading that (s)he(it) not put me in jail because I really thought it was OK to name a stuffed animal Jesus since half the men in South Phoenix have that name.

But I apologize. I've been so preoccupied with that life threatening stupidity in the Sudan that I haven't been able to bring myself to address the rapidly accumulating lifestyle threatening stupidity that is the wacko religion of global warming which, clearly, has a lot in common with Islam.

Remember, when it comes to Warmalarmism, no detail is too small to tax and/or regulate, and I thought that was demonstrated supremely well with the news that Canadian authorities want to confiscate their sheep's beer coolers because it represents a superfluous use of energy. Well, today that actually looks sane when compared to what you're about to read.

First off, did you know that smokers are contributing to global warming? No, not by all the smoke they put in the air... that's not Rube Goldbergian enough for the warmists.In fact, the smoke has nothing to do with anything, apparently. It's the smoking outside because you can't smoke in here that's the problem, and again remember, it's not because the smoke is going right up into the Boloneysphere.

Here's how it works: the smoker wants to light up, but he can't, so he heads for the exit. But it's winter damnit, and it's apparently no fun smoking when the temperature is approaching absolute zero, so what's a puffer to do? Why turn on the outdoor propane heater, of course - which produces more CO2 than a Gore mansion.

OK, so it's no more beer coolers and propane heaters. Anything else? How about divorce?

Think about it... No, I don't mean "think about it" as in "consider getting one," I mean splitting up isn't just hard on the kids, it happens to be even worse for the environment "scientists" claim. That's because the now separate parties need two dwellings and two coffee makers when only moments before they needed just one. Oh the irony... where liberals used to champion divorce, are they now going to demand people stay together for the good of the planet?

So now you're in an unhappy relationship and you can't drink or smoke... could it get any worse?

Well, maybe... and maybe not. Some scientists are studying sunsets to see if they can detect any clues to climate change. I know, what's so unusual about that you're wondering? Well, for one thing, they aren't studying current sunsets.

And they aren't looking at old Cinemascope sunsets from the fifties... not Gone With The Wind... and not black and white silent sunsets from the twenties, though you may think even that would be more sensible than what they're really doing...

Do you like art? I'm not talking about the globs of faux papier mache the designers on Home & Gay TV refer to as "wall art," I'm talking about the real stuff, and particularly... you know... sunsets... because some esteemed science guys think old paintings may offer new clues to future warming.

Wait, hold on... it just occurred to me that some of you... you know, those of you who aren't "scientists," may think I'm making some or all of this up. All I can say is, if you do, I beg you to put your money where your CO2 is.

A recent article actually said that "scientists" (it didn't use the quotation marks, can you believe that?) have studied over 500 paintings to see how colors have changed over the centuries. When it was mentioned that maybe the colors were only artists' impressions, they said, "That's why were averaging them, silly."

OK, that's not an exact quote... but it is their exact point.

And how exactly will they employ their average findings?

"By better understanding past changes in climate, they hope to improve computer models for future climate change".

As James Taranto put it, "Now that's what we call science!"

By the way, Christos Zerefos, the "scientist" who led the research at the National Observatory in Athens, said he believed it was the first scientific study of art for clues to climate variations.

My question would be, does he think it'll be the last?

That seems like more than enough for now. Next time, I may get into how bagpipes are ruining Africa, and with a little imagination, the entire planet... but I promise it'll take less imagination than those Greek scientists needed.

Oh, and did you hear the one about how deaths from environmental disasters are down about 90% since the 1920's? Of course you didn't... because you can't make it up. Only warmists are permitted to do that.

It all came to a head for me today when I awoke to find that fifteen days in jail for a woman who named a stuffed bear "Muhammad" wasn't enough for the tiny minds of the world, and I remembered what I used to say when I encountered far lesser things of this nature in the past, but which (I don't know why) I stopped saying...

"These are adults?"

It's long past time to ask that question again..

And again, and again, and again, and again, and again...

Whether you believe in evolution or not, everyone agrees that we should be evolving... mentally, spiritually, philosophically, intellectually...

But we're not.

We're not even standing still. We're regressing.

Is another dark Ages in the offing? My guess is that we're a whole lot closer to that than we are to runaway warming, and this time, we're using science to get back to the future.

Have you seen the nonsense we're being bombarded with daily now about warming and its consequences? I archive the stuff, but I can't keep up, because each new one is more preposterous than the last.

Case in point (And since I started to write this, I have come upon a new example that's several magnitudes more ridiculous): Canadians have just been warned that their beer coolers are adding to global warming.

I'm not kidding, look it up. And you thought that measures to curb CO2 would be general and even abstract, and add only pennies to your tax bill? And you thought this despite my telling you that this was going to affect everything you do right down to your barbecue?

Now, are you an adult or not? Because "they" aren't. THEY are a nanny pyramid scheme, and you'll be on their bottom tier.

And it's long past time to tell them to put up or shut up. Not with obscure and inaccurate facts and figures, but with real, observable, and incontrovertible evidence. Don't give me probability statistics - on the probability that warming is real, and don't Perot me to death with charts.

If you're so worried about warming, get some Valium and let the rest of us deal with any consequences in the marketplace as they happen... because you're in no condition to do it.

We don't let imbeciles lead.

OK, that's not true - we've got a whole government full of imbeciles leading us - to oblivion, and warming measures are the shortest shortcut to getting there.

And we've apparently got a scientific community cheering them on.

So where are the adults?

Well, one guy in Florida seems to be one. He wants to sue the fools who predict hurricanes. I doubt he has a case, legally speaking, but it's a slam dunk in the intellectual sense.

Harris Rosen, a Florida hotel owner wants compensation for lost business due to irresponsible "forecasting" (and btw, if you're an adult, you wonder what could be more irresponsible than forecasting a hundred years in the future?).

Mr. Rosen's point is both obvious and narrow, because God only knows how many businesses and areas have already been affected by the hysterical warmists. If he can't win, at least he can make a contribution by making it expensive to the clowns to continue their sham.

There's an accompanying poll that shows 52% of respondents feel forecasters should be held responsible. 42% believe they should not. I myself am undecided - as to whether they should be shot.or flayed.